Retail is not about shopping.

What is this madness, how can retail not be about shopping? Retail IS shops and shopping, or is it…………..

Let’s go back a good few years, of course reatil was about shopping, we went to the High Street shop, like a Woolworths or a C&A and bought what was needed, Woolworths was famous for their Pick n Mix and C&A for ladies jumpers. Is it a surprise then that these two brands have disappeared??

Why is Retail changing?

It is changing, not because of e-commerce, not because people buy from eBay, it is changing as Retail is now about an experience, online or at a shop, it matters not. Let me explain-

If a person wants a pair of jeans for instance, they can buy them in a multitude of stores. Be realistic, blue jeans are denim material, dyed to the colour blue, and cut into the required style. They are jeans, and that is the thing they might be a few pounds in a supermarket, or, hundreds of pounds with a designer label on them and from a designer shop.

And here is the thing……. you have the money ready and you need jeans, so what is the main influence on where you buy? Is it brand snobbery, is it driven by saving money, or is it proof that reail is not about shopping?

People buy, not for anything else, other than, THE EXPERIENCE.

It is pure human nature, and a growing need for service that makes things happen. The supermarket, with their £4.00 jeans will get the sale before a highly thought of designer brand and shop jeans at £100+, not to save money, but if the experience provided, the service is the best. If the service makes a cheap supermarket more of a happy experience then they will get the repeat business, and the business of their friends, and there is more to reveal.

If a person receives a great experience, and are very happy and impressed, they will tell 10 of their friends. 10 does not sound a lot, however, if each 10 tells another 10 the mound will grow. If the customer has received a bad service, or had a bad experience, they will tell 50 of their friends how bad the store is. The 50 tell 50 who then tell 50 of their friends, and rather than a mound, it soon becomes a rapidly growing snowball. To put this in perspective, just 5 times down the road that is 312500000 (three hundred and twelve million, five hundred thousand) people who never even show their faces at the store!! Now realistically some of the people will try the store just to see, that is great, until it is realised that another person trying starts another snowball as well, it is a never ending spiral.







Woolworths did not provide a welcoming experience, the staff were badly trained and just left to get on with things, if a store had 1000 customers with a bad experience, after they shared that with fifty people and those people told fifty, it is 2500000000 people, to huge a number to comprehend. This why Retail is not about shopping. Retail is about experience, not necessarily price, not the make, of say Jeans, it is about providing a customer with an experience that they want to shout from the rooftops. An experience that can be remembered and can be told to everyone. Woolworths in the UK no longer trade, now it can be seen why!!

Retail is no longer about just going to a shop, or online, it is about wanting to go to the shop or website, and to achieve this a retailer now must provide not a means to buy something but a service, an experience, that makes someone feel special and wanted. If a potential customer gains nothing from the shopping experience they will not return, and we can clearly see what happens next as they tell people.




What is Christmas………..

Everytime i turn on the televison all I now see is things for Christmas!!

It is the most wonderful time of the year………..

But is Christmas a time of the year to wait with baited breath for, or is it actually a real problem because of the expectations it brings forward? Is it a time to be rejoiced or feared?

Bah – Humbug!!

Let’s just view the basics, the plain and simple facts that make up Christmas –

  • There is little or no dispute that about 2000 years ago a child was born and named Jesus.
  • There is also little or no dispute that his mother was called Mary and his “father” was Joseph.
  • The baby was probably not born on December 25th, however, this day is as good as any!!
  • The religion of Christianity sprung up around this child, and has lasted ever since.
  • The whole passage of this event,and Jesus’s life was in the middle east and mainly in the country known as Israel.
  • The whole Christmas thing is to celebrate the birth of the child.

Now let’s look at Christmas in modern reality…………

Has the western world taken Christmas as an excuse for a retail bonanza? have they forgotten wht Christmas is actually about?

My view is very agnostic, I was brought up Jewish, my wife, and therefore my children, are Christian, but very not in any way practicing. I have worked alongside some very Christian people, and admire their faith. My children can choose for themselves, even if it is a roast chicken on a Totem Pole, the religion, if any they want to follow. So in many ways my families Christmas is not really a pure celebration of the birth of Jesus.

And this is Christmas, regardless of our beliefs, the 25th of December and the surrounding days, are national holidays. In the west we are in a christin society that is following Christian principles.

To counteract the situation, and keep everyone happy, some places, like Birmingham in the UK, have renamed the festival Winterval. I feel this is a pointless, and needless, name for the very obvious period. Does this not highlight to other faiths the period, does it not cause awkwardness??

Maybe I can state how Christmas should be seen……….

Not a shopping festival, where lists are proffered to us that resemble the Argos Catalogue, not a period where we are assaulted continually by adverts and shops thrusting things at us, and not a period to rush off shopping, as early as possible, on the 26th December.

Should the few days off not be used to allow people, friends and family to get together, safe in the knowledge that thet are “off the roundabout” and with no pressure. Don’t let this be spoiled by the expecation of others, and present lists with the subsequent dissapointment this can cause, if a person wants nothing, expects nothing but good company and maybe food. Nothing except a few days to let everything go and just enjoy the peace and also the company, or if anted, solitude, that the day affords.

And so, I am the first, no doubt, to say Merry Christmas, Happy New Year to one and all, safe in the knowledge that, to me at least,the period is one, pissibly the only time, to relax a little.

To one and all.



Perception, What is it Really

What is it about people Perception that models the way they see things? Can Perception be used to influence how people think of something?

Here is an example………………..

There is a Disco company called “The Not Very Good Disco Company!!” their website is , at no point do they do anything to raise the Perception or expectation. They say we are Not Very Good, so anything above that is a bonus!!

And here is where Perception comes into play, the influencing of a persons feeleings and thoughts. They could have had a name such as “The Magic Disco” or “The Great Disco” theses are catchy names, the conjur up images of magic or a very good disco. Are they as easily remembered as “The Not Very Good Disco Company” or do they fall into the raft of Discos, with lovely names that are so easily forgotten? Is a name such as “The Magic Disco” not already, maybe unconcioiusly, raising the expectation as apparently it is Magic??

The Not Very Good Disco Company say they are not very good, even their website domain is is this not a more easily remembered name, does the mere name not arise interest?? How can a company actually advertise that they are not very good? You want to use them just to see if it is true!!

This is perception, and how it can be subtely altered with very small tweaks, “The Not Very Good Disco Company” are actually very good indeed, and they know this, why else would they openely state that they are bad? it is a reverse Physcology thing, and is that not how Perception works?

Let’s take perception a step further. Are the products at Fortnum and Mason any better than those at Tesco or even Aldi? Surely a pack of Expresso coffee, using Arabica beans is the same type of coffee in different bags. The Perception is however that if the coffee come from Fortnum it must be better than the cheap version at Aldi, are other peoples coffee just a poor imitation, surely Fortnum is the best? Why? it is because our Perception is that it must be? A childs Fisher Price toy is the same toy, exactly the same toy, whether it is from Harrods or Toys R Us, is not still the same toy, albeit at Harrods it will be more expensive? In society there are people whos Perception says “use Harrods, it must be better!” There are also people in society who can absolutely see they are identical products, their level of Perception is not as easily influenced.

Fortum and mason
The known Blue to influence Perception

So, are there times when an accurate perception is vital? In court a jury, or just a judge, surely cannot be influenced by perception? A defendant dressed badly surely does not make them guilty? Very wealthy people often dress badly and shabbily. John Steinbeck did and was told in Travels With Charley. A perception of a person is sometimes a very bad thing. However, it is still important at times. Perception of a politician is important to weed out what is really being said. Perception of a builder, maybe based on experience, is often bad, for a good reason, but, the Perception can also lead to selection of a good builder. As a parent I had to use pereption about the children’s schools. I could read all of the prospectuses I liked, however, actually visiting the school led to the cementing of the initial perception, and it not always good, my youngest child did not attend the most lo0cal junior school, because the Perception, upon visiting, did not instill confidence. Is this really Perception though, a 6th sense, or feeling often leads to a decison. Is this not actually where the brain is setting the Perception though?


Here is the final deduction from this………….

Perception shapes our thinking, it puts the initial thoughts had over something, or somewhere, to the very forefront. Often our Perception is not correct, but, based upon external influences or heresay. Our “gut feelng” is often more correct and then can influence the Perception going forward. I feel Perception is needed, it shapes our feelings,, our initial thoughts, but, the Perception gives an overall view of something from others experience. A “Gut Reaction” is very important, and often correct. The Perception can then be added to give a rounded view.


Christmas is coming!!!




Image result for film "elf" imagesImage result for film "elf" imagesImage result for film "elf" images

Because I am a 48 year old man who spends the year looking towards Christmas!! There, I have said it, the run up to Christmas is the best time there is. It is said Christmas is the most wonerful time of the year, I say the excitement surrounding the run up, from about October until the Big Day, is really the most wonderful time of the year, the anticipation and never ending surprises are magical, or am i wrong?

So, playing devils advocate, is it all the best time, or is it just a hyped-up spending extravaganza, that leaves many people in more debt, and more worried? Is it a time of year that highlights any, however small, cracks in a person and then takes advantage of the situation? Is it Christmas that is wonderful or the build up, and the wonderful bit ends Christmas Day?

Christmas starts earlier and earlier, indeed this year (2017), True Movies became True Christmas on only the 2nd October!! So between now and New Year we can watch 24 hours of Christmas films, continually, 24/7 never stopping!! Is this too much?

If we look at things is it not the expectation that causes both this great feeling on the one hand, and dire misery on the other? Think about it………..

Christmas opens up everyone to disappointment, even in a very basic form, children produce a list, that is more and more extravagent, and parents try to fulfil this. When they can’t disappointment is guaranteed. People like me hate the let down, and will do anything possible to deliver the list as wanted, regardless of the money we just do, because we cannot deal with the disappointment shown by others. Is not the only person really suffering here the delivey person, the “me” trying and trying to not let anyone down? It is no wonder suicide rates climb so much over Christmas!! Is the time from Christmas Day onwards not dire??

Now, I have a few tips here to avoid this situation –

  • DO NOT take children to visit Santa, either in a shop, or mall or even at the North Pole, with anything less than a week to go until the Big Day, why you ask?? When the Big Guy says “What would you like for Christmas??” you can guarentee that Little Suzie, or Johnnie, will then announce something you have never considered. Something that was inundating the shops, until now!! With 7 days to go you have a chance, trips to Santa on Christmas Eve – NO!!!
  • Avoid trying to out do “the Joneses”, if they have a light extravaganza on the house, just enjoy it, and remember it is their electric bill!! Climbing up to try and beat it will definitely end badly, probably in A&E, and at least with a huge electric bill. If it matters so much get the professionals in to do things!!
  • Keep a tight hold of your purse,or bag, at Christmas Light switch on, any fairground attraction is double the price of normal and the petty thief is also very active.
  • Keep a tight hold of children at Christmas Light swith ons, or else you will turn around and find they are on rides, holding bags of sweets for you to buy, or raffle tickets that cost a fortune!!
  • If you are asked for a particular thing, say a certain make of jeans, do not try to hand over an alternative, exactly the same but without the label that counts. Dissapointment is guaranteed!!
  • Never make a list yourself. If someone has thought of you, and decided that a 20p Bic Biro is what you need, that is great, it is as good as a £300 Monteblanc pen, they have thought about what you need and given it over. If you have paperwork everywhere it could be paper-clips, is this not a better gift than something you could buy yourself? The contributor has thought of you, end of!! If you have a list, and it is not fulfilled, who is let down?
  • Enjoy Christmas on pure face value, if you have no expectations they cannot be shattered like an ornament on the tree!!
  • And talking of trees,real or artificial, huge or tiny, look at it with joy, it is decorated as you, or the children wanted, end of, it does not matter what others think!!
  • NEVER, NEVER make New Year resolutions, they are setting you up to fail, for sure!!

I could go on and on here, however, here is the bottom line, the real deal………….

Christmas is coming, like it or not!! The children are going to start, list of Argos pages will appear. Christmas films start on the telly, and music on the radio. So try to enjoy things, it may well be hard, but remember, it is only ONE big day and a few Bank Holidays, there are still 358 days without Christmas to contend with. When Christmas films are on, or Christmas music, of which Fairytale of New York is the best, sit back, reflect on the year and forget things, they have happened and cannot be changed, so enjoy the now.

And finally, I urge you to remember, regardless of religion or belief, that Christmas is here to celebrate the birth of Christ, allegedly the son of the Lord Himself, whether he was or not, a child was born about 2000 years ago and named Jesus, we know that is fact, everything else may just be like Chinese Whispers, however, we get a few days off the roundabout because of this, and a few days of extravagance as a result. Whoever this child was, they have given us Christmas.

I think the expression is “Eat, Drink and be Merry!!!”


Image result for christmas images


As the seasons change and the season of Summer moves into Autumn is it still correct to view the times of change as set in stone?


A few weeks ago, on one of the morning television Chat Shows, an “old time” farmer was explaining that the seasons had come to fruition 21 (twenty one) days early. He was very specific, not about 21 days, or around 3 weeks, NO 21 days!! As a farmer he was able to justify things by expaining how buds on trees, crops growing and the weather totally showed a 21 day shift. He also stated that winter would be hard this year, but, that is yet to be seen……………

Is he correct? have the traditional months of change been moved, are things now 21 days early?

He could be correct, today is the 15th September, it is cold and has been wet. The Indian Summer has not happened, or was it 3 weeks ago at the end of August? If things have shifted back by 3 weeks we are now seeing the weather normally seen in October, is this quite accurate? The weather forcast suggested it may snow in Scotland the other night, admittedly Northern Scotland, but really, snow in September??!!

The farmer who made this statement was a proper old time farmer, he even spoke with an “oo ar” type of lilt, he has spent his life watching nature and how it performs. His livelihood depends on knowing what nature is going to deliver next, would he not know, more than the computer buff meteorologist, the real story?

As summer clings on with an ever decreasing finger hold, the first tendrils of autumn and winter are being felt. The heat has left the suns rays and the late nights of daylight are coming to an end as the nights quickly draw in. Before 8pm last night the curtains were closed and the lights were on, it was too dark to not react. When did this change begin, was it 21 days ago?? We know that the nights will get longer during September, however, does this rapidly increasing time of darkness not seem more pronounced and earlier?

The shops are carrying on as normal, the first signs of Christmas are appearing, Christmas flyers and catalogues are becoming more pronounced. A trip to a local supermarket, or even convenience store, will show shelves emptying and the tops of freezers being readied for extra treats. A trip of a week or so ago led to the first box of Mince Pies being bought, and even a local, village, chemist is now selling a few extras for Christmas. All of this means the excitement has arrived, but, are shopkeepers now taking advantage of the 21 day change and being able to start their Christmas run up earlier? I adore the run up to Christmas, as October and November advance I get like a child in a Sweet Shop on “Sweet Shop Friday”, but is mid-september not just a trifle early? I appreciate that I can always get happy over Christmas, however, there remains a part of me that is already Christmas Fatigued as the shops push that season earlier and earlier. Selfridges and Harrods opened their respective Christmas Worlds at the end of July and beginning of August, in London, but, is this not just a gimick to pull in the shoppers, the tourists who expect this. Are other shops doing the same? that is really taking advantage of the shift, already we seem to be enjoying Christmas in July as Australia has this, but, they have it because of the weather, we have it…..because we can!!!

So, let us go back to the 21 days. What does this really mean? 21 days it doesn’t sound a lot, 3 weeks, that is all. But what is three weeks, they are nearly a month, so children going back to school in very early September are seeing weather early, suddenly early September warm sun is not around and we are seeing weather from the end of the month. Putting this is in very understandable words, Christmas Day on the 25th December is seeing the weather normally associated with mid January, is this not now into prime cold and snowy conditions? Christmas Day was, often wet, but not to bad, will it now be cold and snowy?

I will end with questions are the seasons changing, is it by such a precise time of 21 days, is this change a result of man’s abuse of the planet and the changing temperatures because of this??? A worrying thought if this is the case.

If I Were a Rich Man

What would you do If You Were a Rich (Wo)Man? What “If I Were a Rich Man” is all that you desire?

Topol bases his thoughts around having money, being a wealthy Man, and the trappings this attracts. However is Rich an amount of money, is wealth a tangible thing to be measured by the zero’s after an amount in a bank account??

Here is the real question…………. is wealth, or Rich, measured by a physical amount of money?

In many circles,and often to ourselves, having lots of physical money, “A small fortune” according to Topol, is the answer to all issues, but is it?

if you won the lottery at the weekend, say £10 Million in the bank, would this be overall wealth or just a number in the bank?

Without a doubt worrying continually about the need for money, how the bills will be met, and if you can Heat or Eat, is a huge drain oin a person. The never ending robbing of Peter to pay Paul is a hugely worrying and time consuming problem. If that disappeared would just having the money be enough to make us wealthy?

Let us go back to the lottery win. £10 Million just there to be spent, saved or given; but, I say winning £10 Million is fabulous, however, will also lead to eventual depression and issues.

What would you do? Let’s see……..

Firstly you would buy the “House on the Hill” say for £1.5 Million.

A decent holiday and time away – £500K.

Nice Cars – £1 Million.

Flitter Money – £1 Million.

So, we have very easily spent £4 Million, but, there is still £6 Million sat in the bank. Properly invested it should make about 6%, compound, or simply £370K a year, without ever touching the millions. That is £7100 a week, could you spend that? £28K a month!! So here is why there is a problem.

There is £6 Million in the bank, you have bought the house, cars and holidays. There is flitter money to spend on anything. What ambition or aspirations are left? How long will it be before boredom sets in. All the talk of “It won’t change me” is total rubbish. How can that amount not change you. So all the old issues of before are gone, wiped out, now there are new ones. Everyone you know will expect you just to pay everything. People you have never heard of will propose all sorts of ways to “spend” the money, on them!! And how will you feel? it would be natural to think you need to pay everything, natural to want to give people money. very quickly the continual pressure of other peoples wants will drive you to become very introverted and eventually never leave your new palace in case others start with their never ending wants.

And this new pressure will cause depression, you will wish you had never won £10 Million and still struggled everyday. Why? Because then people did not want your wealth, they jus wanted to be a friend. The honesty of those days is gone.

So, is being Rich purely based on Money, do not misunderstand me, if someone wants to donate me a few million pounds, I will manage on their behalf, but will I be rich?

Is wealth not a mind set. If you have health and family, a few friends also, is that not wealth?

You have these things, so you are wealthy. Does the homelss person, living under the arches not measure their wealth on other things. Do they not feel wealthy when someone gives them a coffee or sandwich, physical money is not a measure for them. The expectation of their life is different. Doing something important to them will make them feel Rich, or, Wealthy.

When I wake up in the morning, and a new day is here, if my health is allowing me to feel alright. Do I not have wealth? Is the wealth not further enhanced by turning and seeing my Wife, and hearing the children. Is not having these people not making me Rich??

What about at work, if a project is going well, colleagues making you happy, and managers being pleased, is this not wealth as well? If the personal situation and work are added together is this not being Rich, or wealthy, beyond your wildest dreams?

And here is the bottom line, “If I Were a Rich Man”, maybe we all are Rich in our own worlds and ways. Everyone from the Tramp under the Arches to the Industrialist with millions in the bank. We are all just one step from being that tramp or leader of business. The tramp could find the infamous lottery ticket tomorrow, the business leader could see it all go to pot and fail. However, with our health and family we are surely the “Rich Man” that Topol wants to be.

Are we not there??

Sweet Shop Friday!!

I want to remind people of their childhood…………..

How many of us were taken to the Sweet Shop on a Friday, after school, clutching our pennies in hand as we went into the sweetshop to spend this money upon sweets for the weekend?
Penny sweets galore!!

I clearly remember my infant school days, in the village I grew up in there were two proper sweetshops, however, the small one, on the High Street, was the one we mostly used.

It was owned and run by a little, round, old lady. the wall behind the counter was full of jars of sweets, sherbert and liquorice. All of these tempting jars were there for us to buy sweets in 40z packets, or even 2oz if we wanted. If we had a ridiculously rich week, and had saved our pennies for a few prior weeks, we might be able to buy 8oz, and then we would be gorgerd, suffering from a sugar rush all weekend.

However, the biggest joy was queing up to spend our money on individual items from a small glass cabinet that “Mrs. McDonald”, the owner, sat beside to help us choose, and let us be honest here, we are talking about spending 20 pence. To us this was a fortune, we could fill the small paper bag with sweets, delights ranged on shelves according to their price, 1 penny up to the expensive shelf with items of 5 pence or more!! Was this the origin of the modern day “Pick n Mix”?

Sweet Shop Friday
Food glorious food
Sweets, Sweets, Sweets!!
Sweet Shop Friday!!

Jumping forward, and frighteningly, 40 years, my own children, well the two still at school, and even though they are 13 and 16 respctively, Sweetshop Friday is an accepted and known event. Friday they are not picked up from school, but no, they walk, actually walk, to the village that we now live in, Sweet Shop.

Their is a difference. I was given maybe 20 pence, my children have £2.00, and then they buy bottles of drink, big packets of crips, and as a small tribute to the past, they might also buy something by Haribo.

How times change……..

Am I just being romantic, am I reminiscing to much? Do I see the Sweet Shop trips with rose coloured glasses?

I say “No”, how can a trip to the Sweet Shop, on a Friday as a treat, or if you like a reward, for the week at school that is finishing not be eagerly anticipated and a happening to focus upon?

So I have an idea, let’s restart Sweetshop Friday. I say implement it, and not just for our children, why can it not be for us as well? Decide on a Sweet Shop to use and become a regular and trusted user. Every Friday go along and spend a couple of pounds on delicious treats to hord over the weekend, eat slowly and see if we can keep the sweets until Monday.

It is a challenge for all, reinvent Sweetshop Friday. Make the week go quicker as we approach the day. Feel the excitement grow, and remember the anticipation we had as we walked to the shop. Have that small and precious excitment again. Let our own children experience the joy we had.

Story time…….

We all have a story, it is made up of the events that have happened to shape us. It is growing all the time and reflects “Us” to the rest of the world.

What if we don’t like the story, or there are events that are part of it that we wish never happened??

How do we know the events that change our path are corect, what if they need changing so the path we follow is the one we want to?

We all put things into our stories that may not have happened, or did not quite happen as we said. Call it embelishement or just making things up, the thing is that we believe them too, they become happenings that really happened. And we tell others how good they were and what we did. We are sure they happened, our brain is sure they happened, so they must of……

As we often believe what never happened, it is also possible to change our Story to make sure the path we are following is the one we want to follow. At this early stage we can just dream the path we want, just dream of the events that need to happen. They could be new events or to make on old one “better”. We are not saying take an event and just make it seem as though you are the hero, however, we are saying a small modification can make a scary event not as scary, and as you find yourself in the same position again, your brain tells you the new story and it is no longer scary!!

Let us elaborate on this so it makes sense.

Let’s assume that going down a lane, a dog jumped over a gate and chased you, maybe even bit you as well. Everytime you go down that lane a wave of fear passes over you. What if the dog jumps out again, what if chases you? It is not even known if the dog still lives here!! 

To walk down that lane and not feel a never ending anxiety, the memory will need adapting.

So close your eyes and visualise the event, but change it, in your minds eye a dog never jumped the gate, and, never chases you anywhere. Still not happening? Imagine the dog as a cartoon character, maybe a funny dog, or, maybe it is a balloon dog, a funny colour with 5 legs!! It is our imagination we are visualising, so see what you want. How can anyone be afraid of a balloon dog??!!  Now keep visualising this event, with the cartoon or balloon dog, a lot, over the coming couple of weeks. When you are sat quietly, or in bed before you go to sleep, see the “New Event” the one where a balloon dog floats over the gate and just blows away as balloons do, or a cartoon dog leaps over the fence and then rolls around going “Yip-Yip”, either way it stops being scary and is just funny. After telling your brain that the new version is correct, the brain will adopt the visual over a very short time. Walk down the lane, past the house, no anxiety, your brain is saying “oh look, the balloon dog floated out here!!” and this is where the story is modified to match the needs.

It is a fact that belief shapes our story, if we believe the world is flat, and enough others also tell us this, then the world is flat!! Forget the photo’s we have seen, the earth must be flat. 

So believe what we want, “I want a Jaguar Car”, so believe that you will gt this, create the memory and visualise it, the new car will not be outside waiting tomorrow, however, believe it will happen, and for sure a new Jaguar will be within your grasp soon. Past events can be modified to remove fear, and thus a new memory can be made to shape the future. Like a film script it can always be rewritten; and that is your life, see it as a film, see yourself as the films star and then create the path you want to go down. Make the story, star in the story, believe what is being followed, and watch the path of your life also take the route and happenings of the story.

Now there is more to what can be achieved and how to do this, but, this small entry is a start, and, will help shape the initial. Think of a scary memory, realise that whenever the event happens you get scared, and then, change the story to stop this…………

With huge thanks to Libby from


How do we measure sucess?

Is it the “House on the Hill” and the Aston Martin parked in the drive, or is it travelling all around the world, as the company you work for sends you, a lot, or is success something totally different to the sterotypical image of it?

If we look in the mirror, what do we actually see? Do we think a known person, a Richard Branson, looks in their mirror and sees the image of themselves the same?

In general we are all aspiring to the big house, the exotic holidays and flash car, but, does the mirror show someone who is really happy and enjoying life, or, does it show a tired individual who is forever trying to keep up, or ahead, of “the Jones’s”, is life actually enjoyable or is it a constant battle to gain the expectations laid down by society and family?

So, do we mean success or, actually, do we mean happiness. A person who is happy and content must, by very definition, be a success in their world. And here is the reality, everyone has a “their world”, it can be seen as a variety of rings, like those Saturn has, or the Matryoshka, or Nesting Dolls of Russia. They may not all be happy, however, the end result has to add up to a situation that is real.

If we look at these levels, or Rings, or Dolls, we need to start with the smallest, or at the beginning, a very good place to start, this little world is the one made up of immediate family – the life partner, children and parents. It may include brothers and sisters too. Is this little world happy?

The next level is one made up of uncles and aunts, cousins and very close friends. The first ring can survive on its own, but it really can benefit from this second doll to nest inside. So we have a second world, encapsulating the first. Are the two both happy, or has one overshadowed the other??

The third level is more general friends, people you know from school, or just last week in the coffee shop, either way these are friends, not, work colleagues, but, friends. This ring can now go over the other two. Now there are three levels and still work is not included. Are they happy, do they mesh with each other or is it imperative to keep them separate. How are these three now being happy?

One must be careful about making a work colleague more and a proper social friend. Work, and the colleagues there, make the 4th ring, however, this is a delicate ring. You may get on really well with all the colleagues here, but, and think about this, do you want to integrate them into your world of normal friends, world three? Can you really socialize with these people and walk away from the daily work routine? Is the whole work thing the “elephant in the room”? however hard you try do work events or issues, keep cropping up? How can this 4th doll be integrated, it is still there and surrounds the other three worlds, still happy??!!

And the doll keeps growing, we could add a fifth ring just of business associates, everyone from the window cleaner to the CEO has these. If you are the window cleaner, customers are business associates, you may all get on well with them, but, they are clients, end of story!! The CEO may well have hudreds of connections, through the six degrees of separation there are probably millions, literally, however, these people are business associates. Now this level swallows the other worlds, and it all gets bigger……..

Now, we could go on adding levels, little worlds, time and time again. In some instances the doll might finish up huge. With all these rings in place are you still happy, or, and as is said, successful?

Let us go right back to the first ring, the doll containing immediate family, is this, if nothing else, happy and successful? This tiny doll, or ring, is the core of the whole conudrum. At the end of the day, when you go home and close the door, the immediate family are still there, still offering a shoulder to cry upon, or an ear to here the wins. Out of all the levels, this is actually the one that cares the most. The other rings will have a level of care as well, however, everyone in these rings have their own Matroyshka Doll, and their own individual levels, and, every single one of these has the first doll, the collection of their family. Like the song, they all have their own Little Boxes.

Therefore, in this world, the one we all live in, the real world, where we all strive for Success, yes, it is that word again, the actual desire to be seen as one of the successful ones, can Happiness actually represent Success in a more powerful way? is a measure of success the house, the holidays and car or is it the person?

A person who is a beachcomber, who just makes enough financial gain to cover the needs, but, they go swimming, surfing, fishing or just lying in the sun, whenever they want. They are not trying to climb any ladders of social standing, but, are relaxed and very happy with their standing. Are these people, maybe even the tramp asleep under the railway arch, not the truly Successful ones?? Are these people not the true lucky ones, those who are not weighed down by the trials of society, and, just take each day as it comes. Not necessarily aimlessly, but without the established traits, that we are guilty of showing, as we strive for a narrow view of success.

Being aimless means a person has no real need to get up, however, these people have aims and goals. They are just on a whole different plain. Society say struggle for a promotion, or bigger house. The aim of these, truly happy, people is one much smaller. If they caught a 3lb fish yesterday, they want a 4lb one today. If the tide washed in a football today, what will it wash in tomorrow?

One thing will always remain constant – The sun will still rise, and who can know what the tide will wash in…………..

Have we just found true success??


With many, many thanks to Renaissance Life Therapies. They have, and continue to teach me so much.

The Sun is Out……….

The sun is Out, the Sky is Blue, but it’s Raining in my heart!!

NO IT ISN’T………….

The sun is out and the sky is blue, it is also over 30 Degrees he near London and today is Midsummer Day, the start of the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year is here. Today is the summer solstice when the UK gets to enjoy 16 hours and 38 minutes of daylight. The sun rose at 4:43am today and sets at 9:31pm.

Thousands of people went to Stonehenge to watch the sun rise, a fitting start to a true Druid festival. So Summer Solstice is important to druids, but to the general man in the street there is more to this.Generally it is known as Midsummer Day, it is 6 months into the year, and, frighteningly, the start of the run down to Christmas. December 21st the Druids see as the Winter Solstice. The rest of us may spare a thought to this, but, in general, with just 4 days left until Christmas, we are probably rushing around sorting the last things for the Big Day, I suppose we may have a mince pie and a glass of mulled wine out of respect for the day, however, as life is we are normally rushing around oblivious.

So why is the Summer Solstice more recognised? Why is June an easier date to sit up and think?

I think it might be a very simple answer –

  • January – we are still recovering from Christmas. Get the coffee out!! And as a gift use this voucher JAMES-0BU9A to get a £5 discount!!!!
  • February – Other than Valentines day, and Shrove Tuesday, which is the day when everything nice in the house goes and Lent starts. Also saying you are giving up “Bubble Baths” for lent just does not cut it!!
  • March – A small glimmer of spring may appear, the odd snowdrop, however 1 flower is not spring and it is still drab and cold.
  • April – At least Easter comes along, Lent finishes and the chocolate appears. Hotel Chocolat time!!
  • May – At least it is getting warmer……….
  • JUNE – 6 months gone, it is summer, and hopefully, warm, and then, on the 21st is a celebration of Midsummer as it is called. We all know that it should be lovely in July and August, and often September too, but this day is recognised as being the middle!!

And this is why it is special, it is the middle of the year, the start of the Christmas run up, suddenly the long summer holidays from school are a few weeks away, and then September and the Last Night of the Proms. is this not also the end of summer??

And then it starts with Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night and the true Christmas start after these events. For 2017 the true Midsummer is the 24th of June, a Saturday, what could be better, Midsummer and Christmas in June, it is party time!!!

And so, the Sun is out, and the Sky is Blue. Spend a few minutes thinking of the next 6 months, they will be busy, and for the first time since last Christmas, a proper festival is just peeping over the horizon. Now come back to today, pour a cold drink, whatever takes your fancy, couple it with something nice to nibble on, and then rejoice the Solstice and raise that glass to the future, it is looking good, good, good.